SOS
by Hikaru Irving
Summary: Is anybody listening? Can they hear me when I call?" Zelos is feeling alone in the world, when Lloyd comes and talks to him about life and death. One-shot


Hikaru: I don't own ToS. I just own the storyline and plot flow.

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Zelos Wilder. That's my name. It's supposed to be a "well-respected" name, here in Tethe'alla, but soon . . .soon, it won't be as respected upon as people thought it would be. It's never just "Hey, Zelos, whatcha wanna do today?" Instead, it's always, "Oh, look! It's the Chosen! Everybody crowd him!" Why is there even a need for the Chosen when the world is prospering? I mean, the next time Tethe'alla goes into decline, I'd be long dead by then. Well, with Lloyd's ideals and hopes, if they succeed, then there won't be a declining Tethe'alla. And there won't be a need for a Chosen . . .a pathetic Chosen like me. Colette's a much better Chosen then I am. Why does Seles want to be the Chosen, anyway? Nothing good comes out of being the Chosen.

I admit it. I need . . .no, want . . .someone's help. Right now, we're in the area around the Tower of Salvation, in our little campsite for the night. It's only evening, but Raine suggested setting camp before we venture into the Tower. I'm sitting by the campfire, by myself. Everyone else is either in their tents or out monster hunting or something along those lines. I wonder . . .has anybody noticed me? Noticed me not merely as the Chosen, but just as another person? If they did, they have a funny way of showing it. I'm depressed, even considering suicide, but I cover it up by putting on a false show of my "personality" with the way I flirt with my "hunnies". Hah, no one cares about me. Not even my mother did. All I was is a blundering, blind child. All I wanted was my mother's love. I can't help but to feel sorry for myself . . .and for Lloyd. He had never known a mother's love . . .not for long, anyway. Maybe for three years, but that's not nearly enough. My father's been dead for a long time. Sacrificed himself for the sake of Tethe'alla . . .yeah, right. A false peace. I've never felt so alone. 

I was sitting alone, right? Well, it turns out there was another person still staying at the camp. And it was none other than . . .Lloyd Irving. He strode outside of his tent, and walked toward the campfire, taking a seat beside me to watch the roaring flames. He seemed to sense something was bothering me. He turned to me, reddish brown eyes questioning.

"Anything the matter, Zelos?" He asked, somewhat gently.

I managed a pathetic smirk.

"Everything's the matter." I said, making a joke. Get it? Matter? Everything's made of matter. Hah. A pathetic smirk for a pathetic joke.

Lloyd frowned slightly.

"Oh, very funny. What's on your mind?"

Very much like him. Keep straight to the point. Much like Kratos, ne? I sighed, giving in to Lloyd's nagging, if you could call it nagging. He only asked twice, for crying out loud!

"I'm just sick of it." I said, passively. All sleazy joking left me.

"Of what?" Lloyd asked, crossing his legs to get more comfortable on the hard earth.

"Of living. What we're trying to do seems hopeless. I mean, Goddess knows how many angels are with the Cruxis, and there are only eight of us. Well, nine, if Kratos comes back to you." I replied, choosing my words with care.

Lloyd's expression changed. What was it? Concern? No, I'm just deluding myself.

\  
"Zelos, there is always hope. But what's bothering you? The seemingly hopeless task we're charged with is bothering everybody, regardless of whether they show it or not." Lloyd told me. I found reason in what he said. 

"Well, I just think my life has been a total joke, because of being the Chosen. My father's dead, my mother's dead, and she hated me. And now, Seles hates me, too." I gave in to the brunette. Dammit. He doesn't need to know my problems. He's got too much on his own plate right now. Nonetheless, Lloyd kept talking to me about it. Coaxing me to do something . . .but what?

"I know how you feel . . .a little. I never knew my mother. I can't tell what Da-what Kratos feels about me. And Chocolat hated me, even though she wasn't related to me. But I know that Seles doesn't hate you." Lloyd said, comparing what I told him with things that happened to him. I thought he was just trying to make me feel better. It did . . .a little.

"You saw how Seles treated me in the abbey, didn't you? Besides, she's only my half-sister. I told you, she hates me."

Lloyd merely shook his head. I expected him to get up, walk away, and leave me to myself. He did none of those things.

"No. Sometime ago, back in Iselia, I met someone that later became my friend, sort of like an older brother. He did a lot of dangerous things, that I kept warning him not to do, but he never listened to me. Not once. I must have sounded harsh to him, because he told me before that I hated him. It wasn't true. Ironically enough, the day he told me that was the day he died. He never realized that I really cared about him." Lloyd said, recalling a memory.

I assumed that this was a childhood memory.

"What dangerous things did he do?" I asked, interested. I wanted to keep Lloyd focused off my problems.

"He used to go by the Iselia human ranch all the time, baiting the guards at the gate. The guards never knew it was him, because he would always hide and shout insults at the guards. I warned him to stop doing that, numerous times, and must have sounded cruel, because the day he died, he told me that I hated him, and went to the forest to challenge the Desian guards to a fight. They killed him. It happened when I was thirteen."

Lloyd sighed, and for a moment, I could have sworn I saw tears glistening in his eyes, threatening to fall. He blinked them back.

"But enough of that. Zelos, are you by any chance feeling sad or depressed?"

Dammit. Well, I may as well tell him.

"I've been thinking about committing suicide. I mean, no one would notice, would they?" I whispered, so Lloyd couldn't hear the last bit.

Lloyd appeared distraught. Over me? . . .No way . . .

Lloyd abruptly stood, startling me. He looked angry. At me? Why? Just because I wanted to die?

"Zelos, lemme tell you something. If you died, people will care. One of those people will be me. I care about you, you idiot. How can you be so ignorant?"

I angrily stood, a head taller than Lloyd. Lloyd wasn't finished.

"Committing suicide is the most selfish act anyone can perform! You can die at any time! But when you die, that's the end! There is no meaning in dying! There are so many things you can do before you die! If you just die, you're merely running away."

I huffed, folding my arms defiantly. I wouldn't have any of it. My expression turned cross, from both annoyance and anger.

"What do you know?! Sometimes running away is the only way to save yourself! Besides, who would trust me? No one! I'm just the pathetic, asshole of a Chosen!" I argued, my face heating up. Lloyd seemed equally cross.

"What will you accomplish by dying? Nothing! Besides, I trust you. Nothing good will come out of your putting yourself down."

I shook my head, an inane smile etched in my features. I seemed hysterical.

"How would you feel if you've gone through all the bullshit I've put up with all my life?!"

Lloyd growled at me, his anger building. His hands tightened into fists. I've never seen him so angry in all the time I've known him. In fact, his anger was so scary, I backed down a bit. He reminded me strongly of Professor Raine. Lloyd's next words were simple, but held a lot of impact upon me.

"Time heals some wounds, but when it tries to heal other wounds, scars are left behind. Make the best with what you have. This isn't dying. This is something called life." And with that, Lloyd turned his back to me, going back into his tent.

I stood in a daze for a moment before I realized what that brunette teenager meant. I remembered something I told him before.

_Stubborn and hotheaded as hell._

"But, I guess that's what I like about you," I whispered before following him.

FINISH . . .

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Hikaru: How did you like it? Please read and review.


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